Allow me to speak freely.
My name is Vegas and although I am clearly a cat, and a handsome one at that, I do not enjoy the company of other cats. I find them tedious and often insipid.
This puts me at a disadvantage here at the animal shelter, you see. Here, they expect me to live openly with the other cats in Kamp Kitty; socializing and joining the weekly bridge game and daily happy hours. They even expect me to participate in square dance night. For the love of all that is holy – Square Dance Night!
Forgive me for being bold – but I need to be adopted. Soon. Perhaps you have room in your life for a handsome, middle-age fellow like myself? If you abhor square dancing like I do, you’ll be doing us both a big favor.
I await your reply. Time is of the essence!